Heidi Love – Rising Above Violence to Live Bold Dreams
Your dreams can be bigger than your fears.
It’s a vision of paradise. Shafts of sunlight stream through windows in the clouds, illuminating towering rock pinnacles. Royal palms crowd their bases, rising above a turquoise sea. Luminous white birds glide between the spires and agile mountain goats scamper around precipices. This remote island paradise, Fatu Hiva, lies near the center of the South Pacific. You can’t drive or fly there. It took a decade of self-discovery and a five-year sailing odyssey for me to find my way.
Surviving Sexual Assault
My story began at age eleven, after surviving rape and attempted murder. Like many, I was silenced. By age fifteen I discovered a National Geographic image of a Polynesian oasis. At its heart was a shimmering waterfall, a dazzling sunlit cascade that surged over a cliff and vanished into mist. That image launched an obsession: escape my torment by sailing to French Polynesia and live near the alluring falls—a place I wasn’t sure existed.
Dreams can be Bigger than Fear
Forty years later, overwhelmed by traumatic flashbacks, I quit my job, sold my house, and embarked on my lifelong dream—to sail 12,000 nautical miles to Fatu Hiva. Along the way storms at sea uncovered repressed memories and threatened my life. A tribe of courageous women guided me, including a “third-gender” leader in the matrilineal archipelago of Guna Yala, Panama, a sailboat captain who had completed two world-circumnavigations, and a therapist who had climbed near the “death zone” of Mount Everest. Throughout my journey I met many women of courage, and witnessed incredible strength and beauty inside others who had transcended the stories they carried.
The truth can be hidden for years; dreams can elude. I went searching for a place I wasn’t sure existed. It was in pursuit of this dream—sailing a small boat to the Bay of Virgins—my voice emerged. I dedicate this site to wise and compassionate women, around the world with stories and inspiration to share.
Knowing Acts—Engage in Healing A Calming Practice Workbook
I have written a customizable workbook, Knowing Acts—Engage in Healing to honor and support survivors and to share what I’ve learned sailing through a trauma-filled sea. Harvard Medical School’s Dr. Anne Hallward writes, “This inspiring book is a touchstone, a safe harbor to return to again and again as we navigate the courageous journey toward healing”Knowing Acts includes over thirty pleasant-to-use exercises with music, art, poetry, mindfulness, and more, to defuse sadness, grief, anger, and feelings of numbness or loss. If you or anyone you know is suffering from overwhelming emotions Knowing Acts provides a calming practice for a personal healing journey. To learn more about Knowing Acts or order please click here.
For more on sexual assault please click here. ; For crisis services call 800-656-4673 or dial 988 for the crisis and suicide helpline. After posting this link, I just heard from two amazing women advocates who work with domestic assault, abuse, and sexual assault survivors. I wanted to share their resources here. The first is Maine’s own Finding our Voices and the second is Helping Survivors. I’ve written about breaking the silence and being a part of a Tribe of Transcendence and am grateful for these connections. To whomever is reading please know—you are not alone.
Join Our Community
Do you have an inspirational quote, song, book, or artwork to share? If so, please comment below. It takes a tribe to hold up the sky.
And please support this effort by subscribing. A singular acts of kindness can have a profound impact on generations. You never know whom you might inspire or where it might lead.
To read about more Gutsy Goddesses please click here.
To nominate a woman of courage and inspire others please click here.
“The depth of your pain is equal to the depth of the joy that is coming to you!”
Dennis was my hospice support group facilitator and he said this to me at an extremely vulnerable time, after my husband died unexpectedly and left me nursing our baby. THESE WORDS were my lifeline, and they proved to be true, 17 years later the expanse of my emotional range is far and wide. The joy that came, as a result of sinking into the pain as it ebbed and flowed, has been breathtaking to experience. I WOULD SCREAM AND CRY and then LAUGH OUT LOUD, knowing that that very moment was going to be my ticket to ride someday….toward a life of joy!
Thanks so much for sharing your experience and Dennis’ quote Anne. It’s heartwarming to hear of ones recovery from pain. I can’t imagine experiencing the unexpected death of ones spouse while having a young child. Your story reminds me of one told by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese monk. He speaks of a mother, and young daughter. who came to his monastery having lost her husband on a harrowing boat escape. She was so distraught that her young daughter was failing. He speaks of smiling, even a half smile for her daughter when you don’t feel like it. Through the months his words to her and her smile to her daughter began to bring joy back to the family. I’m pleased to know that you have found you way through the pain to joy. Please do continue to participate in our community. Thanks.
Great site, Heidi. Thanks much for all the inspiration! Look forward to more.
Thanks so much Dennis! There are times when we can all use inspiration.I do hope you will return for more—giving and receiving.
“When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways – either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.”
Your inner strength and courage are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story and your celebration of strong women.
Great quote Janie! Thanks for sharing it and for your own words of wisdom.
What amazing courage! Thanks for sharing and for creating this site.
Thanks so much Miriam. So glad you found it and have become a “Gutsy Goddess!” Your story and courage will inspire others
You have turned into an inspiration for others. Wonderful! May you find many other growing factors in life that are “pearls”
Thank you so much Deborah and Welcome to our community. First I apologize for the delayed response; I’m so focused on looking at other Gutsy Goddess posts that I forget to check my own. I love the “pearl” metaphor. After my journey, I now have a single pear necklace from French Polynesia that reminds me to use my voice. And what is your “pearl” connection and “pearl” wisdom? I hope you too find many growing factors in life! Again, thanks.
Glad to come into contact with a courageous person. You are an inspiration. Your blog is inspiration to many. Cheers!!!
Welcome to our community Reena. I am so sorry for the delayed response; I am often focused on the other Gutsy Goddess posts and didn’t realize I had my own. Thank you so much for your kind words. My hope is that we all continue to offer inspiration and courage to others, and that you will continue to join in the conversation. If you have more thoughts or stories to share please do. I will now check my own posts more ofter. Thanks again. Heidi
My favorite quote is “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” (Aristotle). It’s a reminder that I don’t need to sit around and wait for excellence to happen. It’s not something I only hope for or dream about. It’s something I practice, something I make a habit. My choir director from middle school always comes to mind. Whenever we did something well she would say “Yes. That’s it. Now do it again. Make it a habit” Sometimes we’d sing the same three lines over and over for 30 minutes or more because she was making it a habit to sing it well.
Hi Sarah, What a great motto for life, making excellence a habit. It has really gotten me thinking. I’ve been feeling like I’ve already achieved my dream of sailing to Fatu Hiva and rising above violence. Yet if I apply your motto perhaps my next dreams could use the same energy, determination, and importantly courage. I’ve been wanting to stand with other women who have been hit with tragedy. Perhaps I can do more with practice, and seek excellence in this dream as well. Heartfelt thanks, Sarah.
This was the second post I read on your blog. This is exceptional writing and exceptional inspiration. Thank you for sharing your courage.
Wow Sandy, so sorry I missed this the first time around. Thank you for your inspiration and kind words. As an author it sometimes feel like I’m writing into the void. So nice to get your thoughtful response.
My wife and I found Knowing Acts to be a great read. We have recommended the book to several people we know who were seeking constructive ways to deal with emotional stress caused by PTSD. Thank you for your wise words!
Thanks for spreading the word, Peter! I have a favorite saying: A singular act of kindness can have profound impacts over generations. You never know whom you might inspire or where it might lead. Kudos for you kind ways, and your wife’s too.
Thank you Heidi for your courage to seek truth and peace. You are helping all of us!
This is a quote I jotted down in my readings. I do not know the author, but I thank them!
“The only safety lies in letting it all in
The wild and the weak, fear, fantasy, failures and success
When loss rips off the door of the heart and sadness veils your vision practice becomes simply bearing the truth.
And the choice to let go of your known way of being
The whole world is revealed to your new eyes”
I’m tearing up Laurie. Profound and powerful. I had to look it up. It’s by Danna Faulds and it starts,”There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt, containing a tornado. Dam a stream and it will create a new channel. Resist, and the tide
will sweep you off your feet.” Allow, and grace will carry
you to higher ground.” She’s a poet and Meditator dannafaulds.com Heartfelt thanks Laurie.